Sunday, May 29, 2011
Why they left me when I need them most
Why every time I found some one missing, when I need that one most? I am not talking about losing someone; I am just talking about not getting one in that place where one should be. But in my life I found that, every moment I missed someone, next successive moment was the best moment to have that one with me. I don’t know why it happens to me?
Reason of missing that one could be anything, some uncontrollable circumstances or some stupid decisions. But my problem was always there with me. May be living with them, or having them as a part of my life, I forget their separate existence or maybe I was so habitual of them hence I thought what was special in it? It does not mean I don’t value them, it just means I forget their special effects. And I have to pay for it every time.
Other face of this situation may be: I need them most when they left. It does not mean I cannot survive or live without them, it simply means I need their presence more when they are not their most probable places.
My worst feeling is not being lonely; it is being forgotten by someone I could never forget. Sometimes in life when we want someone to be with us, and we missed that one then why we make our self comfortable with that one’s memories only. We don’t want to recover even our broken heart.
Our best part of life, our childhood is over now. In childhood period we always wanted to grow fast but now while we are big, we realize that broken pencils and incomplete homework was much better than broken hearts, broken relationships and bitter experiences.
My one friend says that --
“I know who broke your heart!
But I also know you are the only one who didn’t want to fix it.”
May be it is the definition of life like someone said that --
“When I got enough confidence,
The stage was gone.
When I was sure of winning,
When I needed people the most,
They left me.
When I learned to dry my tears,
I found a shoulder to cry on.
When I mastered the skill of hating,
Somebody started loving me.
मैं खता हूँ रात भर होता रहा हूँ इस क्षितिज पर इक सुहागन बन धरा उतरी जो आँगन तोड़कर तारों से इस पर मैं दुआ बोता रहा हूँ ...